Bluewater Gymnastics

Hello I am 16 and this has been a concern for me for one month
It all started at Pizza Hut, the last day of the Christmas holiday, so it is Christmas 2008. In fact, I was talking to my friends what we had ordered, then all of a sudden for no reason at all, I felt frightened. The background of chatter that you hear in resturants, has grown very strong for me. And I started to feel scared, and I really wanted to leave the resurs. I do not want to eat what I had ordered and told my friends what I was, unfortunately, he just told me about the water. I did and then went straight to the toilet to empty my bladder as I felt it might make me feel better. It eased the fear a little. I do not eat any pizza, but I was so afraid that I begin. As soon as we left the restaurant the fear was gone. However, I felt different, just different, like the feeling you get when you enter an area you're not familiar with. We continued our journey to the cinema
Anyway we entered the cinema, and I spoke to my companion at all, I felt kind of stupid. Once the movie started all of what had happened from my mind. After the movie, we went home and I always felt different, but not afraid.
The next day side "feeling different" stayed with me and made me depressed. I felt like I wanted to stay in my room and relax, not to socialize with someone, I did. I felt really upset and said nothing. I was afraid that this feeling could ruin my Christmas. So I asked a friend who had left rehab. It was very useful, so useful that it has made me feel better, quite better and happy.
The aftermath of the different sensation was gone, completely disappeared. I was ready to socialize with family and friends and go out.
The next day, the fear hit me again, but it was nowere as bad as what I felt in the restaurant, but it was enough to keep me silent throughout the journey, I was in a car companions Bluewater Road. Once we arrived in Bluewater, once again, the fear went away. I got drunk the night and it helped.
Christmas Eve and feeling "different" was back, so once again I went to my room, played computer games and did not deploy. I was shocked and depressed nothing to dinner on Christmas Eve with my family.
On Christmas Day, and this feeling was still there, this time he had gone too far. I walked into my room, do not touch my Christmas dinner, telling my parents I felt bad and I cried. I had no idea what made me feel like that and that's what upset me.
The bloody feeling stayed with me until I left my house to stay in an old house mates for a week. It makes me so much, we just chilled and lazed around and I felt brilliant. When I left I still felt good and went to my fellow New Party years. I was rubbish, but had the feeling seems to have withdrawn from the drink. And remained so until it was time to return to school.
Since then, this feeling has come and gone, and hasn't been really bad. But I think it is bad enough to talk to someone.
Some notes brieft; I smoke cannabis twice a month
I am a very bad light. I smoked probally that 1 / 8 in my life. But when I'm high, I hear beats and interesting voices in my head. I sometimes feel like my eyes are about to explode and my head will be crushed. Whatever the left, I have "the feeling disappears whenever I do something concrete, such as gymnastics, video games and even peel an orange! For example, writing this now, no emotion came over me. But every time I'm happy about something, that happiness is blocked? These changes are completely myself was notable UN by my peers. They observed no change in me at all and just think that I am myself normal. I have a lot of FRI.